#this one got LOOONG
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I'm having a bad mood today
Would you draw my blorbo for me please?
#If you have time/energy/willing for that though. No pressure#Im sad and annoyed bc i couldn't get my blood tasted today#They only signed me up for an appointment in a month#And its already been so long since i try to figure out what is wrong with me bc my stomach doesn't work as it supposed to#I'm tired and hurt and all this is very discouraging#Mom tells me to go to the private lab to get my tests done faster but it costs money and we haven't been having much of those#She says that my health is more important and she's right but i just feel so bad and guilty for spending money on myself#When it is possible to get free medical treatment#But URGHHH the free one is sooo looong#And the problem is also that bc im an immigrant here i often don't understand how the system works here and i do mistakes#Like today I came to the hospital thinking i can get my blood tested right away with my doctors prescription in my hand#But no i only got it registered and got an appointment on 17 of December#Fucking urghhh#Im just tired and frustrated that's all#Anyway#Wanna draw buba for me? 👉👈🥺
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Literally so embarrassing to feel embarrassed ever. Not very top energy of me
#got my first driving theory class today and felt painfully shy. painfully#tbh I think since that panic attack I had last week my anxiety's been worse#maybe it's the fear of having another panic attack? I've heard this kind of thing can happen#and I've had panic attacks before but like. it had been a looong long time since I had one#like. years maybe??#and then suddenly I'm scared of being scared again#and of my emotions getting out of control when I really need to stay calm#idk. it sucks#sleep.txt
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went to marshall’s to do my obligatory halloween decor check & was going to buy some ice cube trays for those big cubes yknow but then the line was sooo long which it does tend to be at a marshall’s so i was like “surely the grocery store next door that i am going to next has ice cube trays” so put the tray back & went to the grocery store. of course the grocery store did not seem to have ice cube trays anywhere so despite it all i had to go BACK to the marshall’s and go back to the kitchen section and get back in line because i decided i do actually really want to have those big square ice cubes. for my beverages. also there were some really cute throw pillows in the halloween section but we DONT need more throw pillows in this house. there are already several and the couch is not big enough for more
#also i went to the liquor store & got more wine 👍 and a new aperitif to try!#i was there for a looong time trying to decide what to get bc a lot of aperitifs just say ‘herbs’ and it’s like ok. but what kinds.#what does it taste like.#chatpost#i had a good one the other day when i went to dinner with my friend but i didn’t actually pay attention to what it was called. like a fool#i was also sooo tempted to buy some other bitters flavors but i was already spending too much money :/
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aaa thank you for 100 kudos on cipher!! i swear i’m writing!
#sorry for the looong wait it’s just i refuse to upload the next chapter before ive got this one written. i’m close though#cipher tag
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ERIC GRAISE as Marvin in a 'queer as folk' reboot I won't recommend (2022)
» @tvarchive TV Appreciation Week 2023 | DAY 6 : disability pride
#tvweek23#eric graise#tvedit#tvarchive#lgbtedit#mlmedit#disability#disability pride month#one day late but since i got no time for pride month#and i wanted to introduce him for so looong#in my list of secondary characters i enjoyed#queer as folk 2022#rlly. don't watch it#qaf2022#qafedit#black queer#my
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The Hokage sensei — Future Hokage student pipeline goes like this:
⠀
(1) HASHIRAMA — (2) TOBIRAMA
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ |
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ (3) HIRUZEN⠀⠀⠀* ( FUCK DANZO )
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀¦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ |
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Jiraiya⠀⠀(5) TSUNADE
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀|
⠀⠀⠀(4) MINATO
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀|
⠀⠀⠀(6) KAKASHI
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀|
⠀⠀⠀(7) NARUTO⠀ ( Shadow Hokage Sasuke )
⠀
Conclusion: if you're not the student of a Hokage, you won't become a Hokage. Unless you are a brother or like a brother to the current Hokage, in which case there's some possibility.
#Shout out to Tsunade for being her own branch#Honestly wish there were more Senju children#Idk dude the Senjus are one of the best parts of Naruto I swear#The count goes: 3 Senjus 2 Uzumakis 1 Sarutobi and 1 Hatake#Kakashi you will always be famous for this idk why I found you as a Hokage so funny#Adopting actually got you a political promotion#Anyway#If Konohamaru becomes Hokage and the. Sarada I'd keep the line going flawlessly#It'd also raise Tobirama from the death again because an Uchiha finally became Hokage#I don't think the argument of Sakura being practically Tsunade's daughter and therefore an almost adopted Senju would calm Tobirama#There's actually no safe option between Mitzuki (Orochimaru's son) Boruto (Sasuke Uchiha worshiper and student) and Sarada Uchiha herself#Himawari for Hokage Tobirama says#Omg the huygas would never shut up about it#This rant is so looong byyyye#naruto#Hokages#Konoha#Naruto hokages#hashirama senju#Tobirama senju#hiruzen sarutobi#minato namizake#tsunade senju#kakashi hatake#Naruto Uzumaki
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Also I made my boy in SecondLife the best I could.
I can't find any appropriately scruffy-punk clothing for the base I'm using... And it's the most decent skeleton body on SL that is bento enabled and works with Kemono clothes and that skeleton head in particular. Tried to mess with transparency in retexturing some items but the alphas get all fucky and it looks terribad.
Speaking of which there's a surprising lack of bento skulls that aren't overly realistic... And only one decent Gaster head.
#SecondLife#I wish you could upload mesh items without having to have payment info on file#I've probably got enough $L because I was grandfathered into the marketplace before payment info was needed for that too#so I've got textures and etc. that sell decently enough for me to have $L on hand to buy shit#but alas! I'm stuck with sculpties...#I tried to make a Gaster head a looong time ago and I used it for a long while but ugh.#Sculpty quality doesn't have any sharp edges#Either that or I'm doing it wrong#and it can't be bento'd either -- not that I'd know how to rig it lol#And that's FINE because Bunny's face is a mask like Hexadecimal's so animation isn't needed#But the quality is still doodoo#I GUESS I could just make a generic head shape and paint the face on >:/ or find one that's retexturable
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hey I was wondering if you did commissions, I ask for a future request
I'm yet to open commissions, but I promise they'll be open in the near future! I'm just organising things and trying to fit between busy schedules before I get started, because I'm a control freak and I need to prepare before I make any commitments.
#i opened them in the past and it quickly got out of hand#i couldn't say no or offer waiting times or slots because i was so eager to do everything#and customers were left waiting for long periods due to the consistent level of high rendering they asked for - which takes a looong time#i felt absolutely awful and it zapped every ounce of creativity from my bones - and i havent touched the artstyle since#hence the rebirth of my current new one#soon though soon! almost ready to dive back in
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Everyone out here giving Hollow cute moth partners, or pretty mantises or bees or whatnot.
Fuck that, where's the AU where Hollow falls in love with a massive feral Wyrm?
#*Long Sigh* I guess I'll have to Do It Myself then#Hollow Knight#Yall are sleeping on this and it's criminal#It's such a funny idea#Tiny quiet and kind Hollow seeing a massive Wyrm just fucking up another Higher Being and going like-#''Oh no she's hot.''#and then like ''whAT DID I JUST THINK?!''#And she's just like...''wtf is this tiny little toothpick doing staring at me? you ain't food gtfo''#Hollow's got the Wyrm Genes that make him think Wyrms are Sexy and he's CONFUSED#But he tries to court her anyway because he's caught the Stupid For Her sickness#And she's annoyed for soooo looong because he won't leave her alone and his attempts at courting her are pathetically laughable.#Until one day she realizes -- ''Oh fUCK I'M IN LOVE WITH THIS IDIOT''#Obligatory 'antagonist tries to hurt/kill Hollow and Wyrm Lady goes absolutely BERSERK on their ass.' idea#But destroying them kills her and Hollow has to watch her die bc Rule of Angst#(He can't heal her. He lost the ability to Focus from containing the Radiance.)#(But he remembers what the King did and tries to desperately get her to do that too. It doesn't seem like it works...)#(But he refuses to leave her body bc he can't bear to loose her so he's there when she violently claws her way out the side of it)#(She collapses-bloody and exhausted-into his arms and greets him with the derisive nickname for him that's turned into an affectionate one)#(And he laughs while weeping tears of void. he laughs in relief and gratitude and love)
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me rn having the biggest hots for leon kennedy and astarion sorry LMFAOOO <3
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#^___^ me smiling innocently#bg3 is on the MIND !!! i dearly want it so badly. turns out my dad played 1/2 (not sure which) a looong time ago#but he never got too far i think bcs he's busy... :P but hey i love him. wow. it's really cool he knows it too (ofc he does lmfao)#me and him (handshake emoji) also never getting far in da origins yet bcs we have it on xbox bcs of him getting it a long time ago#but there's that bug in the mage tower... :( funny we both went thru it LMFAO <//3 anyway i got it on steam so i've been playing#again but not recently anymore since 1. ffxiv took over my life last days of summer again 2. summer is over back school so rip#anyway can u tell i love fantasy :)) da and bg babeyyy !!! my type is going to make you guys cry i'm so obvious#zevran... fenris... astarion... i have a thing for ppl w blond/white hair :P idk my fav in inquisition yet and idk anything abt bg1&2 yet#but Yeah. GHBSHJGBSHJG..... da origins is kinda funny (lack of better word) to me btw bcs i like all four main romance options#but it's hard to explain (i have a story behind stuff i want to share but it's tiring and annoying of me /hj !!!!!)#anyway i like blond elves if it wasn't obvious. yes i also like link and zelda from loz. yes i like legolas. yes i like#...anyway! so where does re fit in this? uh. u see i'm a coward actually i'm too scared to play re LMFAOOO#BTU I ADORE THE LORE and the characters and the game franchise and shit ^_^ just. i shld really watch it sometime#instead of reading wikis all the time and just soaking up all the knowledge but i'm. a Coward. okay#i can't even play bloodborne despite how nerdy i am over it... it's so scary to poor little me... i'm a coward (it's the harsh truth).....#anwyay i'll conquer my fears one day but that day is NOT SOON !!! i wna get into re properly tho aside from just being a nerd#so i'm too scared to play but i'll watch playthroughs sometime (and admire leon) <3 yeah. another blond. i know. shut up.#is this my life rn am i just infatuated w blonds and white haired guys. it's gna be hell if i continue nier replicant rn too huh#uh. goodnight!
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They should make those sexy mechanics jumpsuits to fit people who are under 6 feet tall
#im 5'2 and can never find one that doesnt drown me#we got one in at work with an exposed midriff section and im howling and barking just thinking about it#but its SOOO LOOONG i couldnt even roll it up
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guess who's gonna cut her hair AGAIN on friday....
#i can't stop chopping it off i have a problem#bc like. ok. i had it super super long for a looong time bc. covid. and then in early 2022 i got it cut into a bob#and thennn i started feeling gender funky (didnt tell my mom abt that part) and cut it AGAIN in august of that year and had it super duper#-short! and it was cute but i couldn't style it at all :(#and then it grew out a lot. so by june 2023 i was like ok we need to cut this. so i got it cut like sadie sink's hair bc fuck it we ball#and it's stayed like that ever since. and it's nice but it's GROWING UNEVENLY!!!! WHICH IS SOOO ANNOYING#(i say as if i wasnt the one who wanted to get like. a mullet)#well. anyway. it's gonna be a really short bobcut again. going back to my ROOTS#bee.txt
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yesterday i was talking with my friend who reads a lotta kindle unlimited het romance novels (ok girl live your truth) and apparently the sports romance market is like 80% about hockey players and she was like "I wonder why that is" and i, a little too fast and a little too loud, went
oh it's the violence for sure
and then had to pretend that was a conclusion i came to from a place of cold impersonal logic and worldly wisdom and not literally anything having to do with me as a person
#like. i still think im right but way to trip and show my hand yknow#straight girls can get a little hockey-man blood smeared on the protective glass as a treat#sorry guys but im an rgg fan!! vaguely to distinctly eroticized violence is like 70% of the fan AND canon content out there#you learn to see it and cheer it on like a young bird in flight#but also i was like that looong before i was into rgg lmao#no omg wait the other day i offered to fistfight my buddy bc he was losin it a bit and i thought it'd help#and then i had to backpedal bc i remembered im saving putting these dukes up for marriage so to speak#also important to know that i didnt even let novel girl finish her sentence like. get it together#also also we were talking pretty loudly already but i was facing out towards the class (thus projecting my voice)#which means i got the distinct pleasure of watching people turn around to glance at me as i tried to explain my thought process past#'unga bunga fighting hot'#which i failed to do of course#not as cripplingly embarrassing as one might think for some reason. i think it's because im right#not a revolutionary take ofc but the kneejerk nature of it was a bit too suspicious for my tastes#funny though#just realized this post implies i am a luster-afterer of hockey players and thats not true. but they do beat the shit outta each other#and THATS the good shit
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i suddenly know what im doing actually, good job brain
#also half an hour earlie i told my mom that i dont knwo what im doing with my thesis#and that i looked at my previous grades and that i have mostly gotten 1.7s and some 1.3 on papers#and that i read over one of them and it was pretty good i guess i am smart? but i feel soooo dumb lol#the one that is closest to my topic too and i got a 1.3 on that one PLUS the points i made in the discussion part were really good actually#i think the structure my examiner made with me makes more sense to me now#i have to read luhmann and giddens now tho#i always think ugh i dont want to read every original text why isnt the text im reading about them now enough#but the originals make way more sense usually#anyway i recently found out that the only master's program that would be interesting for me at some point is waaaay too expensive#so at least i wont have to think about doing that for a long looong while#sorry for the rambling
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yeah i totally dont have my own penbur blog for my fanfic for them..... no one’s ever gonna see this theme if i never publish it so HERE IT IS. LOOK HOW CUTE IT IS
#penbur#maybe the time to post this has been looong overdue but idc i'm still going to post it one day#i just remembered one of the reasons why i havent published it yet#its bc i wanted to post a trailer of it on youtube. after i post most of my futuristic four ones#that i will have to RE EDIT bc of the higher quality clips i got of the films#ON MY SLOW LAPTOP#god its 2023 WHEN AM I GONNA GET THIS DONE#I’ve had this fic idea since 2016/7 tbh
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writing worm man angst 👍 gets his mouth stitched shut <3
#original post tag#its for a bad things happen bingo card that i got a looong time ago but completed like. one square djbdjdhd
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